Ideal Gas Law

I haven’t heard this for a while.

This was one of the things compulsory for engineers namely chemical engineers or process engineer or even environmental engineers.

I learned this during my first year in university.

It’s a funny law actually. Well I do find it funny because it doesn’t exist.

I will try to explain, but not too much because it will bore you.

I am giving you an example. Just try to imagine.

Most metals that we use is not found as it is now. Almost all of it was combined with another element as it cannot exist by its own. So to get pure iron, it has to go through a lot of processes.

Imagine a factory. It’s big and huge and it’s red. It’s my factory and I dictate the color. O.K?  This factory processes limestone. They got it from a small hill somewhere, took it and try to isolate the elements in limestone. While trying to isolate it, they will use certain chemical process and this chemical process will release a certain gas when reacted with the limestone. In this case, it’s carbon dioxide.

The derivatives are one of the components of common cement.

If you don’t like limestone, you can try iron-ore. Same thing. End product is iron and carbon monoxide.

So your boss will tell you that today the factory will process 500 tonnes of limestone at a certain temperature using a certain process, can you, the environment officer of the vicinity estimate how many tonnes of carbon dioxide that would be released by it?

No, you don’t say fuck you man, do it yourself.

You say yes boss, and told him your equation and smiled because you know you boss is not very smart.

So this is how the Ideal Gas Law comes into action.

There would be a formula involved and all you need is to put the numbers in and out comes the answer.

Interesting part is how you solve the problem in university.

You have to include in the answer that you are using the Ideal Gas Law and you must put your assumptions. Without assumptions, you aren’t getting anything right. I mean you won’t be awarded any marks.

There are 6 assumptions.

1. The molecules in the gas can be considered small hard spheres.
2. All collisions between gas molecules are elastic and all motion is frictionless (no energy is lost in collisions or in motion).
3. Newton’s laws apply.
4. The distance between molecules on average is much larger than the size of the molecules.
5. The gas molecules are constantly moving in random directions with a distribution of speeds.
6. There are no attractive or repulsive forces between the molecules or the surroundings.

No need to crack your head. I am just demonstrating a weird calculation based on assumption. I find this a lot when I was studying and I don’t fancy assuming really.

Do you know why we have to assume all these in order to calculate the gas? Because Ideal Gas doesn’t exist. You assume it exists.

The why do you do it anyway? Because somebody has to.

It’s like an Ideal Man. It’s in the same category. You get married based on assumptions:

1) He doesn’t lie to you. Ever.

2) He makes you happy and you will never cry again

3) He is the perfect husband, father and friend

4) His Mother will love you like a daughter she never had

6) He never leaves the toilet seat up.

As The Law proves it, he doesn’t exist.

Good luck in assuming.

The Stamp

I saw it on the Surau (small mosque) wall. More of it has been forwarded to the society by mails and put on blogs. They printed it out and handed it by mass at mosque.

The paper printed in colors screamed ‘Stop buying this and this product. It’s owned by this and this person. It’s deteriorating Muslims. It’s not Halal. It’s Haram.’

Please ignore the Halal stamp on the product.

For those who didn’t know ‘Halal‘ is a term for any object or an action which is permissible to use or engage in, according to Islamic Law. Haram is the opposite.

It’s a huge topic and very delicate one but I will try to explain.

As you can see on all products especially food they should have a small stamp that says Halal introduced by a certain known Muslim organization in Malaysia. It means that Muslims can consume it and it doesn’t have anything doubtful or forbidden items including pork and all its derivatives; animals improperly slaughtered; alcoholic drinks, including all forms of intoxicants; carnivorous animals; birds of prey; and any food contaminated with any of these products.

This is just the food section. There are many areas regarding this too. We’ll just talk about food.

Many people like to take advantage of this food section. Easiest way is to plant a rumor saying this or this product is Haram (forbidden) and many people would accept it at face value assuming that Muslims should help and spread this kind of stuff to other Muslims.

Suddenly your products were boycotted off the market. What a pity.

Why didn’t even it occur to them that this could be a propaganda from rival food products to take the other one down? Isn’t it frustrating to see a business you owned and worked so hard at suddenly went down because of a rumor? Because suddenly everybody says that your Halal stamp is not valid? Or because you are Chinese?

I think that’s not a good competition.

We should check any rumors rather than printing any internet page containing rumors and spreading it around (in holy places too!) At least please check with the relevant authorities before boycotting any products and starting another sarcastic comment at coffee shops about the recent gossip.

I used to take this issue (Halal/Haram issue) lightly but it propels me to write something because some people just think food section is the only section that requires Halal/Haram monitoring. They made a great deal of Halal stamps and reinforcing many regulations upon food or pharmaceutical products that they forgot about other things that needs to be kept in check too.

Take your job for example. Simple one for starters.

Say your job starts at 9 AM. Break at 1 PM and like other office hours, it will end at 5 PM. This is what the Human Resource Manager told you. What happens if you arrive at 9.15 or 9.30 (someone punched your card) then breakfast at 10 AM to 10.30 again lunch at 1 PM till 2.30 PM and went back at 4.30? (you have to pick up your child at kindergarten) Do you think the amount of salary you are receiving is all Halal? Even if you buy Halal food all your life but using a Haram money then do you think the end result would be good?

Don’t scold your children because they’re dumb. It’s the money that you earn to buy the food you brought on the table made them that way.

Halal and Haram is not just limited for consumerism. It’s a way of life. The topic is huge and educating the society is vital so that they can understand why is it important for Muslims to eat halal food and living a halal way of life.

This goes the same for business, education, friendship, marriage, administration, banking institution,traveling, politics, justice, in everything there is a fine line between halal and haram.

My point is the Halal stamp on food is not everything there is in the world and a riot is not worth it.

P.S:
I do apologize for writing such topic as I am not very well versed in Islamic law but this is my personal opinion of the printouts I saw posted on blogs and on Surau walls. It’s sickening.
You don’t bring another person down like that.

Openminded

It’s funny how people perceives open-mindedness.

If you happens to read this on the net and it says ‘looking for an open-minded Muslim female housemate’ that means that you should be a Muslim girl who is o.k if they bring in a guy  or a boyfriend in the same house and you will not go to the relevant authorities yapping about the friendly visit.

Note: Unrelated single males should not be in closed quarters with opposite genders without supervision.

This should not be a problem in other countries. I guess being open minded in America is different than being open minded in Malaysia.

I cannot say that I am a totally open-minded person. I do set some rules in my life. I mean I don’t mind physical contact with strangers or friends males or females of which some people might resent. If I am to be in a train filled with strangers then you can’t help but touch other people. I also don’t mind if some men decided to let their actions speak their mind. I would not be offended. I know they sometimes can’t help it. I believe that they are not bad people, just good people with bad decisions.

Don’t give me that preach that ‘whatever would be left for your husband?’ or ‘pity your husband that everything you have had been enjoyed by other men freely on the street’. I think that is the most stupid thing you could do. If you decide to cover yourself then it should be for the right reason (for God and God only), not because you are saving everything for a men who you don’t know whatever things inside his head when he looks around and see other girls, whatever things he done or said behind you, before he met you. All men are wired to be thinking about sex, whether you like it or not and there will always be temptations so don’t tell me that your husband is holier than others because he picked you, the best lady destinied for him which did everything and anything in the book.

Good for you but mind your tongue. Don’t assume that people that doesn’t do whatever good thing you do would go straight to Hell while you waving happily  from the Heaven’s window sill. Remember that you are weak and limited being and you have no right to judge other people. You don’t know half of the story.

The story doesn’t end yet.

Many people do assume that I am open minded which surprised me. I am not. I appreciate sincerity. If a man ask me if I could spend the night with him then I am quite relieved because I know exactly what he wants and can tell him exactly what I want (politely) but the one that was nice and making effort in small talking is the one that I have to be careful because I have no idea what they want in the first place. They send mix signals and in the end both parties get confused.

Usually it’s me who’s confused. Anyway, you learn from mistakes.

I don’t know the definition of open-mindedness but most people believe that going with the flow is what it’s all about. It’s whatever in trend, whatever’s easy, cool and acceptable with the society and civilization. It bothers me that most people believe that keeping religion or faith or principles is not an open-minded person. Say a Westerner lady supposed that a covered Muslim lady is not an open minded person then what will happen if we compare her with a topless Masai lady? Would she be closed-minded since she is more covered than the other?

So we should say that a nudist is the most open open-minded people of all times? Isn’t it going back to the beginning of time when the Darwin’s cave dwellers haven’t found the fire yet?

So why be bother with the technology and evolution if we want to be open-minded, just like old times?

Bilingual Child

I find majority of Malaysians especially the ones living in the city would like to have a child that speaks at least 2 languages, given the mother tongue is Malay so the other language would suitably be English or some bold ones try to incorporate Mandarin.

I think that’s marvelous. Children below 5 absorb like a sponge given the right attitude and environment.

I have no professional training in above mentioned field but I do believe it will improve the chances of your children as they grow older, say in enrolling to a good school or applying for scholarships or just having a healthy mix of friends.

But I am quite confuse in certain things.

I don’t grow up in a bilingual environment. My parents spoke Malay to me all my life. Mother might threw tantrum in Thai but my English World started only when I started to watch Sesame Street and cartoons and English movies on selected channels.

And that was it. I have no idea how did I began speaking English. I just do.

I noticed that children are being given mixed instructions in English and Malay.

‘Papa pergi work

Translation:  Papa (goes to) work – English

Papa pergi (kerja) – Bahasa Melayu

Is that good? Wouldn’t they be confused? Wouldn’t it be easier to speak the whole sentence in English and then repeat it in Malay or vice versa?

I understand that maybe the parents thought that this is a genius way to present the vocabulary to the children by just replacing whatever verb or noun with selected language but I beg to differ. Your child would have a slight probability to be not good in both languages. They will not achieve an adequate level of speech or writing if they continue to be schooled in both incomplete medium.

Do you get what I’m trying to tell you?

In their head, they only have one vocabulary in each whatever language you chose, not both. Say the word ‘height’ which carries the equivalent ‘ketinggian’ in Malay and since the child has not being presented in this term then do you consider this a bilingual child? When a bilingual speaks, in his/her head the word should come both dancing merrily upon her/his frontal lobe, and exactly when he/she is referring to the word there is a muscle suppressing the right word, so that when he/she wants a Malay word for it, the muscle would suppress ‘height’ which result in ‘ketinggian’ to be uttered. This works to all language that you have inside your head. Isn’t it wonderful?

It’s like taking the brain to the gym!

I personally had met a 74 year old woman who had suffered early dementia. She was driving alone when she suddenly forgot who she was and where was she going. She suddenly was alone in a car on a busy street. She parked and cried until a good person brought her to a police station. She was located by her family members and when diagnosed she was determined not to let this disease consume her.

What did she do?

She learned Italian, French, Spanish and Arabic. She was so good at those languages that she would be able to translate Quran to the languages that she would love to hear.

She remembered. She opt not to forget when she could have given up hope and pretend that everything is o.k.

So if an old lady could do it, so can your tiny little tot whose mind is beyond your imagination. You have a clear vision for your child but please don’t let your ignorance blind you. Every child is unlimited and it’s your job to take them where they could spread their wings and fly.

They’d be brilliant!

I have learned that the most important thing to give your child are wings and roots. You know what to do.

I wish my children could grow up speaking fluent Spanish. It would hurt a lot if I failed to do so, no matter what will be my excuse.

P.S: Please smack me right on the head if I started with ‘my husband doesn’t let me talk in Spanish to them’ or ‘I’ll confuse them’ or ‘they don’t need it’.

Birthday

I can’t say I love birthdays.

I love mine but I wish others could keep it to themselves. Well it’s a nice thing to wish someone else’s birthday or expecting people to wish you yours but I’m afraid that I don’t belong in that category.

If you’re somehow important in my life then probably I would wish you my truest desire.

This is one example.

I, in turn would like to wish you Happy Birthday, may all your dreams and ambitions would be turning into reality, that everything is possible within your grasp, that everything would be easy, that you would find everything you’re looking for (be it your sock, keys or Soul Mate), that you’ll meet beautiful friends along your way around the World, that you would be happy and fulfilled doing what you do best, that Love surrounds you like a stupid psychotic stalking ghost, that you always have faith in humankind, and remember that you could be anything or anyone if you put your mind into it. I love you.

I am bad at numbers. I need at least six months to remember my own phone number (I would never call myself so why remember? Smart, eh?) but I do remember several birthdays. My sister’s (21st of April and 10th of March), my brothers (8th of June, 30th of May and 7th of October), Daddy’s (5th of May) and Mummy’s (16th of December – coming soon!) Some friends that always there for me since I was young and stupid (not that now I’m older and wiser) Thankfully they never did expect any birthday wish from me but I feel an obligation to do so because they are important to me.

Thank God that you’re born that day, or else I would have never survived the trials and tribulations in life.

Everyone notices the reminder Facebook puts on your page to remember anyone’s birthday, presumably they are in your friend’s list. They probably think that it’s a useful device to tell people that you remember. What a brilliant idea! I never paid much attention to it, be it anyone I know is celebrating his/her birthday. The reason is I didn’t think it’s nice to wish someone because something or someone reminded you about it. Yeah, they would never figured it out that you saw that somewhere (duh!) but if the person is important and a piece of your heart somehow attached (virtually) to this person then you will have no problem remembering his or her birthday.

This may not apply to men. Sometimes they’re a bit daft, don’t you think?

So please stop sending me your birth date requests because I will ignore it. I don’t need it. You can use your time to remember other people’s birthday (they might get angry when you forgot, also the present. O.k?) and they will be proud that their Wall is full of good wishes of good people who has a good heart to remember your good old hatching day.

Frankly I just don’t give a damn.

Questions

Irritating questions. Really? This is the sort of things you’d ask me?

Get a life.

Below is a sample of typical conversation I had with strangers.

1) How old are you?

I don’t lie about my age. It’s a good number.

2) Are you married?

No. Not yet.

3) Why?

Aaa…umm…(What kind of question is this? If it doesn’t happen, then it doesn’t. It probably won’t, no matter how hard I try. I don’t make the moment happen with a flick of a wand.)

4) When are you getting married?

Aaa…hmmm….(How am I supposed to know? I was hoping to get married when I was 17. It was 11 years ago.)

5) What kind of man are you into?

Aaa..mmm….that’s a complicated one. I admire men that are smarter than I do, intellectually and emotionally. Good principles that money can’t buy. Wit. Knows how to enjoy life. World traveler. Appreciate life. Iron his own clothes. Fold the laundries. Dance nude in the dark.

O.K I’m kidding. Last 3 are optional.

6) Are you choosy?

We’re talking about commitment, right? Not buying a pile of fish. So I think so…

7) Do you prefer Caucasians/foreigners to Malay?

I don’t know. I don’t put a face to a person I would like to marry.

8) Do you have a Spanish boyfriend, that’s why you love Spain so much?

Nope. Just the language.

9) You don’t want to end up alone, do you?

No. But if that’s the best for me then maybe that’s it. I try not to question it and I stopped hoping long time ago.

10) Let me find you one, o.k? Poor girl. Alone and miserable. I know this dude, nice guy, owns a car, a house, a good job, respectable family, lives nearby….bla3x

Oh, shut the fuck up!

Then they finish off the conversation saying that you can’t have everything that you want. So keep the one pushed to you/that loves you. There might not be another chance. Find a company, nobody wants to die alone. True loves don’t exist.

It was all a lie.

Know what? You’re one too.

The Benefit of War

I hate the fact people can use religion as an excuse for them to do anything.

So it’s perfectly o.k to kill people.

Listening to all this sort of conversation, I would rather make way for other place than strangle a random person to death.

It is never o.k to kill anyone, not even an animal. Let alone innocent victims. Killing random Americans or Europeans won’t solve any problem. The tourists are not the ones plotting the war in Iraq or any propaganda of the sort. They’re not even aware of the capital of Iraq. They just normal people that needs some tan and exotic spicy food. Seriously, they don’t deserve to be turned to ashes for the sake of God.

What a waste of energy and money for the clean-up. The-people-who-taught-they-were-right do truly need to work hard to work this out. You need a sneaky plan and strategies, find (stupid) people who are willing to sacrifice themselves voluntarily, pretend that nothing bad is going to happen, pray that this (stupid) thing would work and may God bless them for killing the infidels and…

KABOOM!

Kill yourself and the (infidel) tourists and may God reward you.

I’m sure nothing good was waiting for them. No virgins in paradise, absolutely. They can’t even kill the right person. Sigh. The person they want to kill is not on vacation in Bali. No way in hell would they choose to be there. They’re busy negotiating weapon sales underground somewhere undetected.

Study capitalism and get to the root of the problem. War is just another way of making fast money. No offense, mate. It’s just business.

I don’t know if you realized this but war is a good way to boost economy. It’s not just war and peace or human rights. It’s economic reformation.

To encourage war in a foreign country of none of your concern does need a thick head. You have to be real smart or real dumb. You must be ignorant to the power of infinity. You don’t really care about other people’s life. People keep reproducing. Sooner or later these existing people is going to be dead. Why not send them to fight somewhere far and dangerous?

Saves time and money. No retirement.

So when other countries heard that you are organizing a campaign for war then they must be very excited. They helped you with your election, so why not now return the favor? It’s like a birthday party. You need participators. The more, the merrier. Somebody needs to be in charge of the guns.

Rockets? Check!

Missiles? Check!

Submarines? Check!

Tanks? Check!

People? Check!

Arms manufacturers and dealers would jump at the opportunity. It’s not everyday that they face a surging need like this. Military expenses is climbing higher each year so why not use the things you stored at the warehouse this time? Not everyday they can test drive a remote controlled missile and see if it explodes right on target (real people) and not be blamed for it. Buy one free one, they said.

I’ll take it! I bring my biodegradable launcher just in case it didn’t fit. No plastic bags, o.k?

Money would pour in and out. Endorsements, deals, etc. Food? Uniforms? Boots? Suntan lotion? Get it here! More of it to come if you can manipulate the locals to give you the oil. Somebody’s in for something. Suddenly you have a war fund. To think of it, war solves a lot of problems.

I’d say unemployment as my first choice. The rates of unemployment could be decreased if you send the unemployed straight to the grave. No questions asked. They died for their country.

Imagine owning oil rings. Imagine owning a country full of oil rings. Keep your golds, use theirs instead. Kill the old leaders. Give power to new ones, the ones excited for change of regime. They owe you big time. Tell this to them from time to time.

They’re in for the long run.

So it is clear that these has nothing to do with the sunbathing tourists.

May they rest in peace (though not in one piece)

The Ingenious Invention of Speed Bumps

I am not going to keep you guessing.

I hate speed bumps.

I understand why they were invented, tested and implemented around the World. The reason is obvious; to reduce speed at carefully picked places. You can see the bumps scattered at roads around playgrounds, packed and planned community  housing centers, schools, busy and dangerous sharp junctions, universities, etc.

I get it. Nobody wants to get hurt.

What I don’t get is when they start putting speed bumps at traffic lights, up on a hill, 5 speed bumps in 100 meters, double speed bumps and more and more bumps at unsuspected places like dark, spooky graveyards.

Just what are they expecting?

I drive a small car and it’s manual which means when you up against a bump, any gear more than 3 used should be shifted down to gear 2 to pass a stupid bump (if not, Carlos will start vibrating.) I love my car. Of course many consulted me to change to an auto car but it has it’s pro and cons. I’m sticking to Carlos but when I start my encounters with more speed bumps than I can count in the middle of the night, lost and without a sign to guide me then I wish I could strangle the person who suggested the bumps.

I want to get out of this freakin’ middle of nowhere and there it was reducing my speed so that the people in the graveyard won’t be woken up with all the rackets the traffic are making.

I swear to God if I find another…and there it was…

Argh….!!I feel like screaming. If I find this person who suggested the speed bump invention (I know he’s dead already) I would show him how it’s done. Yes, sir. I’m doing all the trashing. I would peel him alive with potato peeler then soak him with salt and then maybe marinate him with curry powder and deep fry him and then maybe feed him to…to…maybe Bengal Tiger. I hope they like deep fried human meat seasoned with Indian spice and some salt.

I wonder if I put too much salt..hmmm…

Anyway, I would kill him mercilessly, although some might find it amateurishly.

I don’t care.

Have you got any idea when you’re holding a huge amount of urine in your bladder and all you see is 300 speed bumps in the last 5 kilometers of your journey to find the next toilet?

Each bump climbing is agony and going slowly down the bump never helped, no matter how slow. It nearly crashed your bladder which grows to the size of a healthy watermelon comprising of all the 3 liter water you drank all afternoon.

And when you turn your head around to the backseat of your car you see your friends laughing their heads off seeing your almost-green face hue at each bump controlling all exit routes from each pore of your body.

One bump is too many. Imagine 500 meters of double bumps.

The bladder might burst and you’d die happy.

But urine bladder is not designed that way so you endure other bumps and curse slowly (but meaningfully) at the inventor.

I can’t imagine what would a heart patient or a lady whose uterus squeezing out a head with the size of a cabbage would say while climbing up a stupid bump.

I hope the inventor died unfulfilled.

Morality

Each of us is born with different set of values. It’s all determined from what you have learned from your parents, your culture, your society and the environment you’re exposed. No one could possess the same quality, be it coming from the same family, age, gender or race.

So we’re unique. Big deal. Everyone knows that but when you look around, you realize that they are many ignorant people that hurts people in a way that they could never imagined.

I think many people doesn’t understand that being different is not considered wrong.

I can’t talk about moral. I never learned it. I picked it up and try to understand it as I go along.

You can’t see moral, but you see people. So this people possessing these values are blamed for the difference they make especially the ones recognized as mistakes. Punishments follow pursuit, mentally or for unfortunate ones, physically.

Here’s what happen.

Life takes place. You, as a human being are wired to communicate with others. You start to meet people. You agree with some people but more often than not you can’t seem to agree on certain value possess by the certain people that you know.

What do you do?

You punish them of course. It’s a by-default reflex. Anyone that doesn’t add up to your surrounding is considered a threat. It’s in Civilization 101. Basic survival skills.

And you think that’s fair? Who are you actually to judge people? Are you good enough, perfect enough to brand other people as good or bad? What is good, and what is bad?

I know as a Muslim and many who considered them pious (who does everything in the book to gain points for the surprise they will get hereafter) will think them as good people (I don’t know why) and smirk at people who makes mistakes as if they never did such crime.

They complain about everything to everyone.

For example, that person doesn’t wear hijab, smokes or wears a bad shirt to the office, or that girl is pregnant without getting married, this person sleeps with anything on skirt, got a disease and begs for mercy, that person is a thief, this girl is such a stupid girl she quit school after 15, that dress makes her look like a whore, etc.

Just who do you think you are? You don’t even have the right to do so. It makes you sound more stupid than you are.

Sorry, but God is just. Don’t start humiliating people or He could do just the same to you.

Whatever mistakes done is done. Don’t repeat the story to other people so that maybe other people might learn from their ‘stupid’ mistakes and gain more unintellectual comments from other third world community.

Or maybe I should just remove these people from my consciousness.

Makes me ill.

P.S : You can hate me or hate my opinion. For the record, stupid is not an insult, ignorant is. There is great difference when you don’t know something and when you don’t want to know something. One is curable and the other one is not.

The Guide: How Not to Worry

Suddenly I feel like an unqualified shrink 🙂

Well I used to be a constant worrier and it did me no good. 75% of the images playing inside my head never happened. As for now no man with fangs appeared out of nothing, bite my neck and turn me into a Twilight phenomenon.

Nope. Not yet, and this is frustrating! I had been worried sick (for it to happen.)

Coming back to the topic, I am assuming each and everyone of us has been in a situation that we have been worried sick. We start sweating, our fragile little heart pumping, we can’t think straight, we start imagining things (normally bad, bad stuff; our only son has been kidnapped by the terrorist for he is late 10 minutes), we can’t seem to catch our breath and butterflies flying in our stomach.

What’s that all about? What’s the big deal that made us feel so miserable, so stressed, so incredibly scared of life?

I don’t think we could resolve anything with worry.

I could list down many things, starting from shrinking bank account, credit card payments, bills, increasing  responsibility at work place, public speaking, wrinkles and aging, Mother-in-laws, husband and his extra curricular activities, boasting neighbors and relatives, children related problems; presence and absence of them, unemployment, retirement, death, hereditary or spreading diseases, lack or too many holidays, mortgage, car, singledom, marriage, widowhood, the list is endless.

This little sickness called worry could carry us to our deathbed as early as possible. With excessive palpitations, high blood pressure, lack of sleep, immune system disturbed and keeping at it for years to come, you can easily worry yourself to death.

Are you worried now?

So I am recommending you several suggestions. You can try and see if it’s working. If not, still we face the same ending 🙂 As Peter Pan said, Death is just another new adventure.

1) Meditate.

Surely you’re heard about meditating. The basic thing you need to understand is that meditation is learning how to breathe properly. You might think that it’s ridiculous to learn to do something you do every second of your everyday. Even babies do it brilliantly on the first second of their lives but notice when you’re worried you can’t catch your breath?

So breathe. Take a lungful of fresh air and keep it in for 10 seconds. Repeat this at least 10 times. Better still if you could bend and your hands barely touching your toes and slowly while inhaling you raise your hands up towards the ceiling while standing on your toes, just like what the kindergartens do.

Scream while exhale.

If you’re shy you can do it somewhere far from human (maybe Pluto), or sound-proofed room or vacant public toilet but I can tell you it’s nice.

If you prefer a low profile meditation then you can just do simple yoga or just sit and affirm a positive phrase in your head over and over again.

“I have means to travel around the World, whenever I want to”

“I am successful in whatever I do”

2) Exercise

One of the hormone affecting worry is adrenaline so it would be nice to start a regime and use that excess of energy by exercising. When you exercise you feel good, and you are channeling your energy in a positive way.

You don’t have to be up and running at 5 AM everyday. A brisk walk around the neighborhood is fine too.

Better than sitting still and worry, right?

3) Control your anxiety. Think positive.

This is what usually happen. You received a news, say that your husband is cheating on you or you failed a paper or you’re selected to attend an important interview or you missed a deadline or your son is not yet back from tuition or your salary will be a week late than usual this month, etc and the first thing you do is?

Worry.

Examine your head. It starts to picture the happenings that will probably not take place.

You think about the bitch that dares to steal your husband from you, what will happen to you if your husband leaves you, your children, what will the neighbors say, what will the future hold, you picture yourself working again paying bills for the beautiful car that you can’t afford alone. You cry.

You immediately picture endless hours of lecture, jeers from friends who passed the exam, the juniors mocking you because you failed an easy paper, the money, the shame, the examiners who doesn’t like your brilliant ideas, the chances of you failing again next exam. You cry.

You saw your future ahead of you. You saw the interviewers mocking your accent, your shoes, your clothes, you picture yourself failing to answer the questions and they laughing at you, you tell yourself you don’t actually deserve that job, that many deserving people would turn up that day with better CV, that you would get lost and arrive late. You cry.

You know the drill. This is not the first time you have these images. Stop this at once. You will do just fine. Most of it doesn’t even happen, so why waste your time worrying?

4) Food.

Don’t take too much caffeine if you want to sleep well (for some people the effect is worse than the rest. Some doesn’t have any at all) I have noticed that my heart beats faster with caffeine, palpitations and excessive sweating, even on night time so people like me should avoid caffeine after 4 PM.

Or you will worry why you can’t sleep all night long and it’s irritating.

Try good quality chocolates for calming effect. It has been said that eating chocolates will give you the same effect when you are falling in love, as it releases the same chemical.

So eat chocolates, it’s rather cheaper than being in love 😛

5) NO.

Maybe you’re not used to say NO to anyone, especially the ones you knew but saying NO does help to reduce your worry.

Notice that Asian culture doesn’t say NO very well and saying it, is considered as rude and taboo in certain culture so we bare all the necessities of too many YESes for the sake of No-NO reputation.

Say you really have too much on your plate or you are not into a co-worker while the rest of your colleagues try their best to set you up with him or you can’t seem to join the batch’s next reunion, anything of the sort, you can always say NO, rather than worry or invent little white lies.

My advise; say NO and shut up. They don’t need your excuses and besides, if they knew it, don’t give them reason to poke holes in it.

6) Help

If everything gets out of hands, get help. I know a good place and good people where you can pour your heart out.

You can either call them or write them an email. They provide good advise and good ears for free.

For professional help, you can always seek treatment from a qualified psychiatrist (they charge you RM600++ per consultation) and their services are listed online.

7) Accept and learn from experience.

Not being perfect is not a problem. We worried too much of our beautiful image in the eyes of other people that we forgot that we came to this Earth individually and we too would die in separate coffins, no matter what they think about us.

It’ o.k to be wrong. You can’t be right all your life.

Say you failed to get a job you always wanted. Don’t beat yourself for it. Remember, before this you are alive and well without that particular job, so not having that job this time doesn’t effect you anyway. You are still the same old person. It may give you some extra money and you are devastated because you didn’t get that opportunity.

See, you are getting ahead your yourself. You are already imagining things that you don’t own yet. So why worried because of imaginary extra bucks? You will survive. You’re o.k before and you’re o.k now. You can’t be unemployed all your life. You will somehow go out and face another meeting with some random interviewers and this time you might get it. Learn from the last lesson, you will get it eventually.

There is always another chance, another light, another day. Somebody somewhere would say YES.

So smile and don’t worry, as what worries you, masters you 🙂