The Guide: How Not to Miss Someone

This could be a guide to forget someone too.

There is a number of reasons why you are missing that someone. You may love them to bits and you are not able to communicate with them despite having their phone number, email address and Facebook account (I almost pity you), or you did try contacting them but the reply is pending (she might be in Congo distributing wheat), maybe the person mentioned moved to another place/country/planet, maybe (s)he was dead or not willing to speak to you ever again, maybe they disappeared and you’re not able to locate them, or maybe…just maybe that you like to spend your free time reminiscing about someone.

All we can suspect right now is that this person is extremely special to you, if not important.

Now I am sure that you knew the symptoms. It could start with a simple thought, growing to be a fat, gentle hope which will turns out to be a word. This word plays around with the image that resounds feeling over and over again. Imagine the word is a name, a random name of a person. There comes the image. Then the smile, the voice, the smell, the curve of her/his hand, her/his delicate birthmark on the neck, the way she giggle in the crowd, the way his eyes twinkles when he laugh, the way your heart skipped a beat when you heard his/her name across the room, everything. The simple thought whispering at first could turn out to be a mean battle cry in the deep of the night.

And you wonder why. Why hasn’t she call? Why can’t he text? Why wouldn’t he reply? Why? Why can’t you come? Does she think of you? Does he feel the same way too? You pick up that phone and put it down immediately. You don’t want to sound cheap. She might reject you again. You search for his name on the net and browse his pictures if there is anything new. You played her favorite songs over and over again though you have no idea what was the title and you hate Korean pop songs.

Sometimes you think you saw him on the street. And then on the television. Even the guy waiting for your table at your favorite restaurant starting to look like him. You thought you heard her voice in the bookstore. The silhouette matched but no, it wasn’t her.

If reality is mean, dreams are worst. He visits you every night, being sweet and nice attending to your perfect dinner late at night. Just when everything started on first gear, you woke up. You swore. You try to remember the details but Morpheus thought this is funny and treat it as a joke. Kill that hope. It’s just his usual business, nothing serious.

Torturing, isn’t it? But some like the pain of missing someone. They get used to it. I can’t.

So, moving on to our business.

1) Avoid things that reminds you of him/her if you really wish to forget. Avoid seeing his photo, or mentioning his name or anything that relates to him. Songs, colors, smell, etc. Try this for 40 days. Also stop listening to love songs, breaking up songs or seeing chick-lit-romantic-movies. It’s not going to work.

2) I would suggest walking. Do something that tires you physically or/and mentally. Brush up your Sudoku skills, start gardening, buy a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle, learn to knit, paint your apartment, bake a new recipe, etc. Occupy yourself with new things. Don’t let a tiny space of that person start accumulating inside your mind. Treat it like an unforgivable addiction. Brush it away.

3) Get to know new friends and when they start asking if you have any special someone in your life, remember to forget about him/her though your heart aches to complain about everything regarding the special friend, suppress it and shut up. Learn to listen to other people attentively. Go out. Have fun.

4) Travel is the cure for everything. You can try doing it alone or with a complete stranger or a best friend. Remember to bring your sunscreen, passport and an open mind. Organize it and personalize it. If you need to learn a new language then do it. Need to book a guesthouse or hotel? See to it. Want to book a package, browse the list of travel agents online and ask until you’re satisfied. Memorize the map if you have to. Expect good things from the people around you however serial-rapist-psychotic-face they have.

5) Pray. If it doesn’t work, pray harder. If still it doesn’t work, start fasting.

6) Read a good book. I recommend Matthew Reilly. It’s a definite page turner. Think Indiana Jones kind of reading. You will forget you haven’t slept for 2 days. All you can think is Jack West must get there first and save the world. What better way to end a story, right?

7) Get a pet. For beginners, a cat is a good start.

8 ) Laugh. Be happy. Watch a funny movie. Hang out with funny people. Laughter is the best medicine.

9) Move. Change. You need to get used to a new surrounding and new habit. Change your hair color, cut your bangs, rearrange your furniture, take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.

10) Random act of kindness. Buy a pack of lollies and distribute it to children (if possible if front of their parents) or if you’re not comfortable with strangers then give it to everyone you knew, bake a cake and distribute it to your colleagues, just be nice to everybody.

11) Pamper yourself. Manicure, pedicure, massage, face mask, foot scrub, etc. You can even do it at home along with friends provided that you have the right tools. A sleepover during the weekend with spa treatment is a nice thing to do.

That’s all that I can think right now. Hope it will work.

Believe that you can do it.

As for me, I still try. One day it will go away, I’m sure of it.