It has been bad since a year ago.

1What do you get for being a dreamer? Wild and infinite imaginations. Colors. Everything is possible. The works. All these rainbow and flying unicorns could help me sometimes but now it’s not. I’m quite broken inside. I used to know what I want but now I cannot honestly say what it is.

I need a strong dose of courage.

It’s burying inside, this little worm of fear. I’m scared. I don’t know if I can handle it this time. Change will come in a week. I am supposed to be ready with everything.

The problem is, I don’t have anything. I have nothing and I’m terrified to find this out. Who is going to believe me if I told them the truth? She would say, ‘you must have had something!’ in exasperation.

I don’t and this is the absolute truth.

2

Amelie Poulain said it right.

‘These are hard times for dreamers.’

I am the living proof. I remember 15 years ago wishing and hoping for something that matters and to be honest I still do.

While on the mean time I saw friends moving on, getting married, children born, job promotions, business soared, fancy cars, photos of smiling family reunions, anniversaries, more and more photos of what seem  to be endless happiness and how blessed they are. They should be.

I am still here clutching to the very same dream. I cannot say that I’m happy. I own nothing but a piece of childhood dream.

The future is bleak. Why change anymore because the way I see it, things will not get better.

But you know one good thing of having nothing?

There is absolutely nothing else to lose.

So gamble on!

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