This is Embarrassing

Really, it is. How long was it, five months? Damn. I knew it was a long time since I’ve written something but did I really sunk that low? That’s like five months of full throttle otaku mode!

Senpai, notice me!


Yes. I am admitting to the world. I am joining the anime fans. I no longer watch regular television programs, need very little sleep to function like a proper human and eat leftovers throughout the day. I am only a simple girl wishing to end one episode after the other and falling in love with fictional characters.

Honestly, it wasn’t meant to be a permanent status. I watched anime when I was young but I don’t like it, I mean, I can live without it. No big deal. One of the reasons I was not so into it was because the Malay dub was nothing short of remarkable, it’s boring. They did a pretty decent job but it’s the same actors day in, day out, this series and that series. The story line was mainstream. Either the protagonist had the best skill at spinning a top or racing cars or catching furry little monsters. I’m way past that phase, as far as I’m concern.

And then I tried following Aang: The Last Airbender (A:TLA) and I thought that it was one of the most awesome, memorable cartoon/animation I watched on t.v. It had proper essence, like, it actually taught me something valuable about myself and I did not expect that from a kids’ program. I was hooked.


The picture accurately portrayed the 61 episode journey from start to the end and I loved it. I was so excited with this new found genre (I thought this was anime – it’s not) that I immediately started watching Legend of Korra (LOK) – the sequal of A:TLA.


Big mistake. All 52 episodes of it. The series had the biggest potential to be a better hit than A:TLA but fell short. They had pretty strong points – the fight scenes packed more power and the worldbuilding are way better than the first counterpart but the story line after Book One: Air was totally ridiculous and I can’t empathize with any of the the villains afterwards. I reached out to fellow LOK followers online (the series was still ongoing at that time and everyone was hoping that it will knock our socks off – fat chance!) and while waiting for the next episode to be uploaded online, I spent some time watching some anime recommendations from my virtual friends.

One of it was Barakamon. It was supposed to be a trial series since it only has 12 episodes. It should not burden me or waste my time or left me sobbing after the first episode or made me more determined to practice my art no matter what. Handa Seishuu was an infamous calligrapher known for his short temper and he had punched the director of an art gallery for criticizing his masterpiece. The story unfolds when Handa’s father suggested that he should cool off his temper on an island where his father grew up. The series was not about magic or vampires or demons. It’s simply about life and how you handle failure. I have never felt this kind of resonance with a character before. Handa and I, we’re both on the same page. Angry and struggling and we want to be the best. It got me from the very first episode and never let go.


Do you know what happens after that? I went absolutely crazy and it will get more and more embarrassing after this.

The Complicated Battle of a Middle Age Fangirl

Maybe I should be ashamed but whoever knew this photo will pledge your loyalty to me. The CABBAGE MERCHANT is not simply a fool in Avatarverse. He is one of the key characters and played major part in re-telling Aang’s story, though we can fairly doubt the authenticity.

In fact, it was him that prompted me to watch 61 episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender in less than 3 days (I could have finished it in 2 but my head was spinning) and later Legend of Korra‘s first 3 books and resented it because I should have waited for Book 4 to finish but then no one has that amount of patience.



I am a thirty one year old woman and I cry watching anime. That is the truth in all its splendour. I want an Appa stuff toy and I saw some cute ones on Etsy and quite a cheaper one (Made in China) on Amazon, probably advertised by the same company. I hyperventilate when I saw a Momo cap or a glow in the dark Airbender tattoo sweater (you can’t say that’s not cool!) and I wish I could bend metal when I’m in a train.

Book 4 is ending in about 10 weeks and I don’t know how am I going to get through it. More tearbending, perhaps. Maybe it’s the same like the Harry Potter series. Though I cannot say I am most upset with it. I was quite upset reading the epilogue of Mockingjay because it ended (movie-wise, I have another year of fangirling with Mockingjay Part II. Weehoo!) but Avatar: The Last Airbender took the icing on the cake because it’s one of the most amazing ideas ever realized on international t.v.

It’s not because it’s so weird not seeing Zuko again. Or Toph. Or Katara. Or even Sokka. It’s the brilliance of the team and the writing that made it shine. The wisdom of Uncle Iroh, the bravery of standing up for what you believe, that disability is just another identity and surprisingly a unique way of perceiving things and the value of humor in unimaginable situation is better than panic. And friendship. Always friendship.

It’s just such a wonderful series that I often squeal in delight (or pulls hair in anguish) after about 22 minutes of focused sighting and I just want to tell the world about all the good things, bad things, stupid puns, jokes, my own hypothesis and head canons but all of my friends are not into animes or even squealing for cartoons anymore. I have this geiser funneling in my veins and no way of channeling it out. It’s boiling and swirling in a vortex of giggling words and hushed whispers and thunderous glee but I have in my possession no way to express that without sounding like an idiot.

So I head for Tumblr. Those people understand. They don’t judge. I can rest contented that someone in Canada or Australia or South Africa knew exactly what I felt each time we watch the episodes or sought out a funny new meme. It’s hard work, I tell you because of the time zones and the wifi connection and if they’re not grounded without the new wifi password.

It sucks.

All I wanted was to be happy, watching my favourite program and squeal together with my girlfriends, right here, right now *sigh* but I guess that would not be possible. Well, this is better than nothing.

Episode Four next week!